Diary of a Young Nigerian Virgin

November 20, 2004 11:23pm. On my bed.
Dear Diary,

What do you define as your first kiss? Is it when someone just plants a kiss on your lips? Or when someone actually kisses you and you feel that sweet tingle down your spine? Or when you kiss someone not because you feel like kissing the person but because you want to kiss the person from the heart? Hmmmm serious talk today ba? Let me tell you the genesis of this kiss theory that has suddenly taken over my thought pattern this evening and to make it worse I'm ovulating so I'm extra hormonal. Crying one moment, laughing later and then extra sensitive another. I tire o. We girls sef we get wahala. So as I was saying, someone asked me(okay 'him',you know nah) if I had ever been kissed and I told him no. After he left, I started thinking about that silly guy who once forcefully stuck his long yellow tongue in my mouth. That mumu guy was supposed to be Idowu's scoper o. That fateful evening, I was going to give mommy food at the shop when he called me. I innocently went to meet him and he started telling me how I looked like Idowu and all sorts of rubbish before I knew it Fiam!his tongue was in my mouth. Sweet diary, I ran out of his ugly office where he sold phones and spat all through the day. So, can I refer to that as a kiss? And no, I didn't tell Idowu. I just pretended nothing happened but kept on bad mouthing the guy to her anytime she talked about him. Pedophile oshi!
Well, whatever joo, it's not as if I love kissing in the first instance (yeah right!) all I know is that my genuine soul tingling, delicious, lovey dovey, spit swapping, tongue stroking kiss is gonna be in front of the altar and my parent would look on and wonder where did she learn that from?!
Good night Diary.